Lets talk about grief

I wouldn't profess to being an expert in grief, or in fact anything actually : ) but we are all experts of our own experience. Working with grief is something that I have come to know quite personally due to my father dying when I was 9 years old. This year has been one that has held a thread of grief for most people in some way. Whether it has been the loss of what was considered a normal life, a friend or relative, a job loss or loss of certain freedoms. Grief has been quite present for most of us.

I experienced a cascade of grief in May, the loss seeped into every area of my life and was very overwhelming. The last few months have reminded me of the stages that we go through regarding loss and the powerful ways that we can support the process. One of the aspects of grief is the physicality of it. Often like a rising feeling in the heart and chest, and culminating in the throat, the physical feelings can be quite strong. If we can attend to the physical feelings its very helpful…

What is Soul Coaching?

Often over time we can develop blocks and barriers, these might be in the form of thought patterns, beliefs or situations that we keep creating. The result of the blocks and barriers, which may often be quite subconscious, is feeling stuck, fearful or not able to move towards your hearts desires. Perhaps feeling lost or unable to move forward.
Everything is energy, the thoughts we have and the patterns we create with our behaviours will hold us in a certain way of being. The mind and body will mirror each other and our behaviours and vibration will impact upon situations around us. For example if I believe that I am not capable of passing my driving test (this actually happened) then every time I take the test I am going to feel anxious, fearful and my body will therefore tremble. I failed 5 times because I deeply believed that I couldn't do it. The result of thoughts, incorrect thoughts that I held about myself. I was so constricted by fear that I couldn't drive properly, I ev…

Anxiety - gangster compassion

A few years ago we were talking about anxiety on the MSc Mindfulness and Compassion course, and one of the students said gangster compassion was the answer. He was absolutely right, for me, overcoming anxiety has been a process of compassion, meditation, support and not giving in to it.
Anxiety is so sneaky, it creeps in and before we know it, we feel at its mercy. There are many ways of overcoming patterns of thought but I have found compassion is like a key in the lock. Its no quick fix but produces long term benefits. When the thoughts start, take your attention to the felt sense, the sensations in the body. Immediately this releases you from the mind and takes you to the source of the tension in the body. By breathing into the sensations and placing a hand on the heart you are activating a soothing and reassuring response for the body. Out of the head and into the heart. Really pay attention to the warmth from your hand.There are many heart based practices and compassion meditatio…

Women healing women

Every woman who heals herself helps heal all the women who came before her and all those who come after her - Christiane Northrup
Don't get me wrong, some of my best friends are male and some of the best healers and therapists I know are also men. What I want to illustrate here is the beauty and transformation available when women lift up and heal other women.Ever since I can remember I have had a sense of hiding, not speaking my truth for fear of judgement, not being accepted or even completely rejected by other women. I came to realise that I feared being torn down by other women. I had been gaining qualifications for years to feel confident in being able to support people as a psychologist, reiki therapist and meditation practitioner, These have given me a wealth of knowledge but what I really wanted to share with people has been there all the time, waiting quietly for the right moment. When part of us isn't healed it tends to colour the lens that we look through, tainting o…

How we hold ourselves back

You see the problem is that something happens in our lives, often in childhood, and it triggers a belief. This happens all too easily and often without much effort at all. The belief can be out of alignment with the actual event, but still be a result of what we experienced. It doesn't always need to make perfect sense. The belief that we are left with gets strengthened by our thoughts, interpretations of situations and we end up getting stuck. This goes on to impact our relationships, career, all the choices we make, all that we choose or reject. It becomes the lens that we look through, holding us at a certain place within our lives.
The way to liberate ourselves from these limiting beliefs and patterns is to visit them, to look them in the eye and challenge them, with compassion. When we identify a particular story that plays out subconsciously or consciously, we then have the awareness to make changes. Sometimes these stories, and beliefs have become so ingrained that they are …

What could you achieve if you transformed fear?

Fear is definitely one of the most challenging emotions. It can stop you in your tracks and bring you to a halt. Unfortunately it is often what holds us back from living to our potential and really linking to our true self. I am determined to keep transforming my experience of fear. 
Fear can be generated from a matrix of different aspects. The mind, body, spirit and emotions can together each play a role. Perhaps we arrive on the planet with a predisposition to fear, carried down through the generations from our ancestors. Energy healing comes in many varieties and can support you to break these ties. A predisposition to fear may then be triggered by a series of events throughout our lives, encouraging the emotion to become predominant in our psyche. 
Fear has a very big impact on our system and can trigger off fight or flight responses in the body, which over time can become automatic. Leaving you feeling a little trapped. Fear can be transformed and there is not a one size fits all a…

The Alchemy of Compassion

Once we start to recognise that we all want the same things, that we all experience emotions such as fear, sadness, love, joy and happiness it's all a little clearer. We all want to be happy and feel at ease. So much time is spent avoiding suffering and sadness but unfortunately these are inevitable at times in our lives. What changes our response to difficult emotions is our awareness. Avoidance of engaging with feelings often makes them tougher to deal with and they appear stronger. We also start to fear the experience of the emotion itself. Generally emotions don't dissipate until we allow ourselves to feel them. If we don't allow feelings and emotions they can get a little trapped in the body, maybe causing aches and pains. Emotions create an energy, a vibration, and so does compassion. Compassion supports the transformation of emotion. Changing it from something difficult to a wisdom. The fear of allowing ourselves to fully embrace emotions is more often than not great…